Work Woes (Thank God for Kitties)

I took this picture in the alley behind my house. There are dozens of alley cats back there, and this is one of the more hyper and friendly ones. I've been told he looks like a pirate here. He's chewing on an electrical wire, which is unplugged, I hope.

I've been busy with work, busy with life. I'm totally wrapped up in a project at work that's going quite badly. Long story short, I bite off way more than I can chew, which is a recurring theme in my life.

When I was a kid I was in the Gifted and Talented program. We would get together once a week for a class period and work on advanced projects. My most prominent memory is a time we were told to create a word search -- you know, the puzzle where you circle words in a seemingly random field of letters. I was really excited. I had this really elaborate vision of what I wanted the puzzle to be. I had planned to have lots of intersecting words; I wanted to use really difficult words. Well, before I knew it, the period was over and I didn't complete my project. Everyone else was finished but me.

I realized then that it was a pattern -- that I always set out to accomplish much more than I'm capable of accomplishing. And for some reason, I never learned my lesson. I still do this.

And this is what I've done at work. Today I told my boss that I was way behind schedule on a project and that I needed assistance if I were to make the deadline. I would have been embarassing if I expected more from myself. I suppose I SHOULDN'T feel embarassed, after all, the project is on the right track -- it's just moving slower than it should -- and as long as my vision is implemented by SOMEONE then that's all that matters.

But still, I feel like a failure. Mostly because I know that I could have worked harder on it before giving in. Mostly because deep down I know that I am a procrastinator, and that if I had worked diligently from the outset I wouldn't be stuck in a hole like I am now.

Anyway.

I'm not going to sweat it. It turns out the guy assigned to help WANTS to help. Plus, I like working in a team situation. It's less boring than working alone.

(But I wanted all the credit.)